Yesterday was one of the happy day and also the saddest day of my life..
First, I want to thanks those that had sent me well-wishes and also calls to me for my Birthday. Thanks to those that still remembered me. It was good to be able to keep in touch..
I can’t sleep and just slept for a couple of hours now. It is 6.45am now. I have never been so early for a long time lah..
Oh…and I finally decided to do the booking for the Proton BLM which I did. So I shall be the first white mice to see whether this antidote does prove to works or not. The proton sales told me that the official launching date is this coming Friday and we could view the car after after 5pm. Hopefully I could get some snapshot by then.
Well, I discovered as well that Mr. Chia and Anna anniversary is on 14 Jan as well and Awal is also same birthday as I am.
Now, what more can it be when you found out on your birthday that saddest news arrived to bring you tears. It’s is not crocodile tears anymore. It isn’t much but the tears in my hearts has never stop till now. Wow..isn’t this simply poetic.. Could George Orwell cook something up like this.
Since this is my life storyboard. I will tell one of the most beautiful things that happen in my life. Of course, there are those secrets that run deep beneath the water ; even I if tell you , you would think I am crazy. .those are the things that you cannot connect your logic and the world of partial science together. So such unfamiliarity is uncommon among people ; there is nothing to say.
Enough of that.. I want to talk about someone that I try to slowly ask myself to let it fade away because the things is I can’t kill it overnight. It’s in your head..in your head…Zombie…zombie.. that’s how it is.. believe me as the song goes…
After numerous sms and no feedback and none answer call.. I had gave up already since 1st January this year. I was rather surprise to open a sms on my phone…
Janice – HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Hmm.. this is peculiar? After that I had some calls from people wishing me. It was way beyond what I expected yesterday morning. So she called me again at 10:50am and was a missed call as I was handling other call at that moments..
I just replied her to let her know I will chat with her later. I was busy .. stick around in the office and there are all kind of stuff you could attend to…
So when I got back home only did I call her. It’s been a long time since I spoke to her. It’s the same old voice and slightly more mature now..and she also had grown to be a little more mature from the pattern of voice. It was a casual talk of catching up ler.. We used to ignore the topic all the while and finally she broke it..
“So are you in a relationship?”
“No.”
“Oh why not..Boon..you are not young anymore”
Because your are irreplaceable at this moment .. period. But I din tell her lah.. I can’t tell her on the phone. That is just me..
“ So what about you?”
“ blah blah.. I am married last year.”
“ Oh..”
Did I said congratulations? Hmm… I forgot….coz… my heart just sank into the bottomless pit.. How Bizarre..
The conversation did carried on for awhile and follow by silence and pause for awhile. I try to talk other topic to avoid that topic but there is just his silence between us. So her wedding dinner is end of this year ler. Does Ah ngau song did a repercussion again? Many times indeed since the past few days..
Well, she is other people wife now.
Then not too long after that the conversation ended.
So instead of hiding it , I think it is also fine to tell her how I feel :-
This is what I sms :-
“ Hey, I don’t know whether it is appropriate to say it.. but I am going to tell it anyway.. How do I say..emm.. I actually still miss u a lot.Been trying a lot to forget u until I hv to say to myself..Arr, I gv up fighting with u O my head.. So I do not know why but maybe just that I realize I love u a lot. I think one of my biggest regret is not marrying u.. I still find the most comfortable moment is being with u..Ahaha…”
“There r lotsa sweet memories tat I still treasure. Thanks for all da special moments of sharing. I really appreciate it. Knowing u r married is not ez for me but I really want u to b happy!! Thr r many things that I would want to share and I know yet it could only b kept deep in my heart. I think..hmm...that could sum in a nutshell what I could say.. Anyway, always be happy yea and have fun!”
I never thought she will sms again..
“I’m sorry 2 make u feel uneasy. I’ll always treasure those memories.”
Janice is one of the best thing that ever happen in my life. Despite our differences, yea, we all do don’t we...I am really comfortable to be with her. When she left, I had tried very hard to adjust myself even till this day. It is not something that you want it to overcome overnight .. this weak line or whatever ppl could perceive it.. is just an honest feeling of myself. There are many wonderful moments that I had shared with her. She is simply lovely and sweet. I just cannot ignore her laughter. At time , not much..a little ..funny things that she did I still love it very much.
It dated back into somewhere in Sept 99…there is where I first know her.. those day ICQ was the in thing.. She actually attempt to call me .. I was giving tuition at that time and called her back afterward.. from then on..it was lotsa phone call..
Even until we met, I am not the one she is interested lah. Yet.. I did hold on.. I think sometime holding on to something is not too bad.. and that best moment on my life came…when she agreed to go out with me on Millennium nite. We went to KLCC first but it was too crowded. At that time I still remembered I asked to hold her hand..but got rejected.. @%$^$%W%$
Then we spent that nite in Dynasty hotel…. No..it is not a room… ahaha… it was at the restaurant. I enjoyed it despite she had still so many guys calling her and blah blah..
The first gift that I ever gv her was a swarosky crystal. I think it was some bear or whatever animal thingy.. It was a Christmas gift.. she gave me a mug.. a millennium mug and made in England. Oh..and recently my mum had start using the mug. So I din keep it lah.. everytime I hold the mug to drink.. I remembered.
It was not until CNY that we got together.
Love is a wonderful thing….it’s not just a February thing..
It is often debate that which is better…to love more than being love or being love more than loving back.. Does it matter? If you really love someone, all this come with a price and indeed priceless.. as long as the journey is a good one. Well,everyone is entitle to their own definition of it.
I do not know what else to say..The list could be so long after all. And all that is just a closing chapter.
So this is some of the story I could shared here. Damn.. My bloody English.. always taking it for granted.. I know some of it should be written with “s” and some should be the other way round. I am so accustom to blend in to the secular world of it.
Oh.. today my principal in Japan ..his father is having a kidney transplant. Mr. Keisuke san, I wish your father Mr. Chizuo san a successful operation.
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