"USE YOUR HEAD!"

About less than 10 years ago... I set to conquer two legitimate fear in my life after my first break-up with a gal who love me and show me great deal of love. I was bizarre, I do not know how to mend the bridge anymore as I had done great deal of sorrow for such a lovely women. But we were never meant for each other.

Now about.. Of water and of height that is. I am very afraid of water. Mum was always afraid I would be drowned when dad and fren decided to take me to Morib. I can still recalled she blah blah all kind of stuff.. so everytime I look back at one of the photo which I was 4 -5 years old.. yea.. there is no date written behind.. it was still kinda sephia colour.. can imagine how old it is.. well.. all look like aperture f5.6- 8 to me..

I was standing at the edge of the sand where the sea water hit the sand.. and I began to see that the sand began to sank me like that.. alas, other children will lust with sheer joy with this kind of sand-joy casting your feet deep into the sand. I was indeed afraid it gonna drown me. Mum has really make a pussy out of me. damn..

Forward and away from that nostalgic era.. I did try to overcome this fear in my life. Not to the extend where I am ready to take lesson. I am also afraid of the crowd and also shy away in group in learning stuff too. How timid and intimidation life was those day.

Never went past that 4 feet water and scared of being drown. You damn pussy!! dark photoshop smudge pussy being recognition... cant even gone thru the first layer of mosaic.. how disgrace that way..

So the first breakup was really painful... and pity-party and myself to blame. So one at a time decided to pick up swimming first.. First the breakstroke.. religiously Tun Razak swimming pool.. .. 2 - 3 times a day.. then at the same time Mr. Alan Cantodor who had learn swimming before.. began to teach me how to do the freestyle. I choked.. what the fuck!! it is tough.. but i want to pick this up because it is fast..

Not too long I began to master the freestyle.. It was so much fun.. the deepest depth was about 8 feet in bandar tun razak swimming pool. and rookie will swim zig zag and chances are you will get kick and slap is around 3 - 5 times in a session.

Later graduated to Bukit Jalil swimming pool.. Oh my goodness... the water is cold.... how the gell am I gonna swim in this blardy cold water.. It turn out you could swim many lapses in these water and the water is clean over here.. paying another 200% more is worth it when your passion for swimming rises..

There are lotsa good memories in this place.. one of it was I was able to clock 80 lapses one evening.. it start out from 20 - 30 lapses.. and then 50 - 60 lapses gradually.. But it was sheer dehydration after 80 lapses.. those day mana tau..

There are lotsa national training going on here in this Bukit Jalil.

One of such occasion which I could remember is the water polo training session before some international event which Malaysia is taking part too. The coach is an American guy which is body skin is as old as the prune. He wore this typical rayban sunglasses from TopGun.. loud mouth and blasting away..

I still remember that day how not a coach for a Malaysia's team. He was shouting faster than players throwing the ball... all lead to bloody confusion..

Players were looking at him when he was shouting out loud..

As I recalled.. " Look at that ..look at that.. there is a hole there.. somebody gonna jump in there.. " a space left empty where the opponent could dominate and strike a win..

then as I recalled one as vivid as it goes.. he said " USE YOUR HEAD... push the ball over.. use your head.."

Well, we are tropical animal Mr. American..

As once Claude Le Roy who coached our national football team from 92 - 95.. one of the most painstaking in his entire career i guess..

He said that Malaysians is as warm as the weather itself..

I got to zzzzz... goodnite..